Saturday, October 25, 2008

DIEP Reconstruction: The Sequel







The following May 2007, I was scheduled for the second of the surgeries to complete my reconstruction. Dr. Singh assured me it would be an easy "In-and-Out" surgery. Belive me, NO surgery is ever easy, and there is no such thing as 'in-and-out' when it comes to cutting into your grill. He told me I'd be off of work for a week. Foolishly I assumed this would also mean I'd only be out of riding and exercising for a week as well. I later found out how misinformed I was.

Anyway, the purpose of this surgery: to lift the right breast to match the left breast and to reduce the left breast to match the right. Dr. Singh was also going to create a nipple on the left breast. Had I realized what a horror show that was going to look like, I would have declined.


Again, I arrived at the good Johns Hopkins hospital. However, no red carpet treatment for me this time! After the usual intake rigmarole, and the visits from the usual suspects, I had to walk - yes! WALK - myself into the surgery room. I was like, "WTF? Is this like budget-class surgery? Do I have to hook myself up to the machines?" I had to hop onto the table myself and get myself situated! Where was my doting nurse holding my hand as I drifted off to la-la land? Where were the soothing voices and the kind smiles and gurney ride where I got to count ceiling tiles until I passed out?


DH says this time surgery took about two hours. I woke up in the recovery room, feeling OK but terribly sleepy. I implored the nurse to let me sleep a bit longer but she said, "No, you have get ready to leave." What?


I just didn't understand the coldness this time. They were so lovely to me last time. Why the change? When I had the mastectomy (at a different hospital), where they took the breast off, I got to stay overnight. When I had the first reconstruction, I got to stay three whole nights! Now that they were adjusting the breast they put on, I had to get the hell out of there as soon as I could walk in a straight line? Why couldn't they just stick me in a corner somewhere and let me sleep off the grogginess for a while?


Only a week off of work this time, but as I found out the morning of the surgery, still another SIX weeks before I could ride or exercise.

In a way, I told Dr. Singh later, this surgery was more difficult than the first one. He said he didn't understand because it is just an "in-and-out" surgery. I said, "In and out for you, but I'm stuck on my butt again for another six weeks!" The next time I saw my radiation oncologist, who is Dr. Singh's wife, I told her it was frustrating because if he had told me what to expect, I would have been fine with it. I thought it was just a week off of school, a week off of riding and then back to normal. But in reality, it was, "Hold on there, Cowgirl! No, it's six weeks off of exercise and everything else, and now can you please leave out recovery room?"
On the ride home, DH took me for another vanilla milkshake to soothe my drugged, but rattled, senses.


Then there was the hideousness of the nipple. UGH! I was shocked at the nastiness that protruded from my left breast. It had been so round and smooth, and now it had this I-don't-know-what angry looking piece of hacked-up flesh sticking out of it. I even called up the nurse and asked if I could have it removed. She assured me it would heal smooth. My God, looking at that thing, I went right off of Tootsie Rolls.

Of course, had I been told what to expect, I would not have panicked. I was naive in that I didn't know enough to ask, "Hey, is that nipple you're going to construct gonna look like a half-chewed Tootsie Roll?" As I write this, the nipple is very, very small again and has healed almost back to completely smooth.
I also included a pic of my belly scar. Up until just recently (like in the last six months), the scar in my belly felt really tight, as if I had a twisted up towel inside me, stretching from one hip to the other. Also, I have a strange disconnect in my belly because when they took the fat flap, they pulled the rest of the belly and pulled it down like a window shade, relocating my belly button back to its normal spot. So now I have a slight scar circling my belly button, and when you touch my lower belly, I feel it in my upper belly. Make sense?
The right nipple still has normal sensation despite the surgery. That is a good thing. Wink-wink.


Take a look. Doesn't my right breast look so proud? She was so happy to get some attention too. She's lovely.
Notice the port is gone too. No more chemo! EVER!

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